a bit of everything

Today's news: Fergie pees her pants during show

2010-11-04T12:23:00.000-07:00

Big girls do cry...

.

Today's celebrity: Supernanny

2010-11-04T12:20:00.000-07:00

Seriously, if I had to choose another mother than my own, I would definitely go for Jo Frost. I don't even have kids but I love her show, how she fixes problematic families and spoiled kids. Also, she is cool without being too sweet or childish.

I wish I could take her with me one weekday and do everything I usually do. Imagine: she could start an assessment on the the bus I usually take every morning, with all the screaming, annoying kids and their indifferent parents. Maybe she could even take a look at people at the office and teach them how to behave in a more professional way. I actually wish I could materialize supernanny for all these occasions where people have no clue on how to live amongst others. She would open her laptop: "Oh! I see Leticia is in desperate need of help. I'm on my way!"

Circus

2010-10-05T11:46:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday Brazilians got to exercise their right as citizens and vote. Besides president, senator etc, we had to elect federal deputies for every state. Surprisingly (or not...) in São Paulo, the chosen deputy-most voted deputy in the entire country-was a clown. Not calling names or anything, the guy is a real clown. "Tiririca", as he's called, is quite famous in Brazil and started his career long ago as a singing clown. His first released song, "Florentina", became a hit, played on most national radio stations. Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIDyetR65JE. You are probably wondering why

it got big, since it's bad. We Brazilians know it's bad too, but we seem to have this fixation for bad, annoying stuff. Maybe that's why Tiririca was elected after all.

So, clown guy got more than one million votes, guaranteeing a seat at the parliament. Today, barely two days after elections, came the shocking news: Tiririca might not be eligible for the deputy position under allegations of being illiterate.

Let's see how it's going to turn out. He could actually be a good politician despite the fact he wouldn't be able to write a law project nor read any for a start. The clown drama is to be continued.

(Picture: slogan from his campaign, "Vote Tiririca, it can't get worse than it already is")

Keep walking...

2010-10-04T11:40:00.000-07:00

Humm...take a closer look at the ladies.Would you really consider stop drinking?

Today's news: Lady Gaga appears at the VMAs dressed with meat

2010-09-13T12:14:00.001-07:00

Note the strategic gap, so she would't smoke the ham, hehe.

Today's news: Lady Gaga appears at the VMAs dressed with meat

2010-09-13T12:12:00.000-07:00

Note the strategic gap, so she would't smoke the ham, hehe.

Are you obsessed with the right things?

2010-09-04T02:37:00.000-07:00

These are posters from an awareness campaign in Singapure against breast cancer. They want women to ask themselves if they are giving importance to the right things on their bodies: having a pimple or a big butt or having a bump in the breasts that could kill.

Ugly? No, just lacking some fixin'

2010-08-31T11:03:00.000-07:00

So, if you think you're ugly, don't get sad. Get a surgeon!

Today's picture: in Lisbon

2010-08-26T11:11:00.000-07:00

Look at the picture below and try to realize what is wrong with it:

These Portuguese workers had just finished installing poles on the sidewalk so that cars can't park there. How long do you think it will take until they realize where they parked their van?

(If you couldn't understand why Brazilians make so many jokes about the Portuguese being dumb, here is just a small parcel of the answer)

Comixed

2010-08-22T04:39:00.000-07:00

Many more at www.comixed.com

Analysing the video: Chromeo, Don't turn the lights on

2010-08-20T12:54:00.000-07:00

This is a quite cool song by a Canadian group called Chromeo. Watch and see if you like the beat.

http://feber.se/video/art/185749/smlbbig_musikvideo_med_chromeo/

Here are the top things about this video for you to check:

1-The singer ears.
2- What the hell is that guy spotting grapes?!
3-Everyone is wearing eyeliner.
4-Around 1:00 min you can see people sword fighting in the library (huh?).
5-The person appearing at 1:41 drinks too much coffee/tea.
6-When the singer smiles/spreads his teeth in the dark he looks just like Ronald McDonald (the clown). Creeepy.
7- SPOILER: At some points both guys become different people. I actually only noticed the singer becoming another person, but the keyboard guys gets replaced too. My eyes were so directed to the main focus in the image that I had to watch it other times to realize that the co singer becomes another man.

Egyptian bathroom

2010-08-19T13:26:00.000-07:00

Mysteries of the universe: Ed Hardy, Abercrombie & Fitch

2010-08-11T11:22:00.000-07:00

I don't know if it is a fever in your country too, but here in Sweden Ed Hardy T-shirts are selling like bananas. I wish I could know why. Yes, they are colorful and have some different prints too, but to pay 1000 Swedish crowns (many dollars) for a single T-shirt?! If it was somewhere else I could even think some I see are fake, but here in Sweden there is no falsification, so I believe every person I see wearing an Ed Hardy spent a considerable amount of cash on it.

Same thing, although not as common here in Sweden, is A&F. I see this f****** brand on people in every part of the world I go. Had never even been to one of their stores before. Then I recently went to London and thought I should finally have my debut.

I walked into the store without really knowing if that was the store. The map said it was but there was no name, nothing. I actually thought it was a party because I saw some people outside talking and I could hear music coming from the inside. I almost left thinking it was not the place, but decided to check anyway. I happened to be right, it was a disco as well as Abercrombie & Fitch. Hundreds of people walking around, dozens of clerks minimally dressed (I even think I saw guys without shirts) and darkness. I am not kidding, it was almost a poetic portrait of hell: very loud radio music, people welcoming me in a smiley flirty way and soft red lights. I was waiting for the orgy amongst people in there to start and some souls to boil in a bubbly cauldron .

From what I could see from the poor lights, the clothes seemed very uninteresting. Casual stuff. Then I tried to check the price on one piece and after squinting my eyes for a while I finally saw it. It was enough to make me get out of there in a second.

So, judging by the cases above, it must be a status thing. People start buying because everybody else has one, so they can be as "cool". It's a great thing if it makes one happy. Even happier are the owners of these trademarks. I will remain unaffected by the power of marketing (at least for that matter) and happy too.

Hide your kids, hide your wife!

2010-08-07T09:28:00.000-07:00

Have you heard about Antoine Dodson? Well, someone broke into his sister's bedroom and tried to rape her. Reporters came by later on just to find out that, more than a good story teller, Antoine is the biggest rapper of all time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrWu13Uh2Yw&feature=related

(My credits to the person who auto tuned the song too)

Today's list: Latest movies review

2010-08-03T12:07:00.000-07:00

Since I have been watching many movies lately I thought I should share my thoughts about them:

-REC 2: The first one was good, but this one should be called "FF". Instead of letting the cool bio-nature of zombies dominate the plot, they had to go deeper and increment it with "possessed by the devil" zombies. Give me a break.

-Toy Story 3: Well, what can I say about this one...Disney/Pixar hardly lets me down and it couldn't be different this time. Every time a new Toy Story comes up it's even better than the last one.

-Shrek 3 (or 4, 5, I lost count): This one was actually my favorite of all Shreks. They even added some shed a tear moments (Ha!Worked on me). Cool movie.

-Inception: The bad thing about this movie is that it eventually ended. It was so, so good. Seriously. I am not even a big fan of puzzle movies, I didn't like Matrix at all and could never keep track of who was attacking who in Star Wars, but this movie is worth a knot in the head. Not only the visual effects were great but the plot was so interesting too. If you don't like Leonardo di Caprio and his way of making every character look the same, ignore it at least this time and go watch it. Pretend it's a dream!

-Splice: This one had potential to be a good one. They even managed to get Oscar winner Adrien Brody to be in it. The idea is cool, a modern" Frankenstein", but from the beginning we all know it won't end nicely...

-Greenberg: Once and for all: comedy actors should not act in dramas! Please, Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler ("Funny people") try to understand that your thing is comedy! Have you wondered why these guys always acted in comedies and only comedies all this time? I have and now I know why. So here I am warning you not to watch this horrible attempt of cult movie with Ben Stiller (Do not watch "Funny People" either, it's just as bad).

Today's thing: Date site for muslims.

2010-07-26T12:05:00.000-07:00

Careful with who is hiding under the veil!

Blondes have more money part 2

2010-07-20T12:48:00.000-07:00

In one of my previous posts I forgot a big example that getting blond (er) is getting rich (er) in music industry, so here it goes:
This is Shakira when she started her career, singing in Spanish around South America:

...and this is Shakira after she decided to exchange the tropical areas for the real commercial fame in the US:

Told ya!

La mano de...

2010-07-13T12:24:00.000-07:00

I know the world cup is over, but I had to post this one:

Harder, better, faster...blonder!

2010-07-08T11:19:00.000-07:00

Have you realized how pop music celebrities turn blond the more famous they get? Maybe they get more famous because they get blond? It's a big mystery we might never solve. Meanwhile, here are some radical examples (I'd surely add more if I had more time to look for it today):

Quoting Heidi Klum: "You're out"

2010-07-02T11:18:00.000-07:00

Yes, my dear blog friends, Brasil is out of the world cup.I had our flag hanging from the window, I screamed in the first goal, I did all the superstitious stuff we do and nothing helped. After my momentary sadness, the only thing I could think about was Dunga, our coach (actually, our ex coach, since he has just been fired). I hope he survives when coming back to Brazil, 'cause he was already very criticized in the beginning of the world cup, imagine now that we are coming home without the trophy...
By the way, "Dunga" is the name of the weird dwarf from Snow White and the seven dwarfs movie. The one mute and a little bit dumb . Now I guess we know why he got this nickname....

"Heigh- Ho,Heigh- Ho, we're going home Heigh- Ho!

Cut from the same cloth

2010-06-30T11:28:00.000-07:00

Have you realized how Eminem and Britney are similar? We are used to songs about second or third parties, like"She", "You are so beautiful" and so on, but not from Eminem and Britney. Most of the songs they sing are about themselves. I don't mean singing about their life experiences or anything, simply everything revolving around them. What they want, what they do, everyone watches them, they are the center of attention. Check out these minor examples:

Britney:

"Overprotected": I can't help the way I feel
But my life has been so overprotected
I'm so fed up with people telling me to be
Someone else but me

"Let me be": Think that I can't stand on my own
It ain't my philosophy,
Won't you just let me, let me be?

"What it's like to be me": This is my game, my rules

And I can see, obviously,
Baby You don't know
What It's like to be me

"Piece of me": Well, pretty much the whole song is only about her

"My prerogative": Everybody's talking all this stuff about me

Why don't they just let me live?

"Circus": All the eyes on me in the center of the ring

Just like a circus

"If you seek Amy": Love me hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are
begging to If You Seek Amy (Even when she sings about a third person, it's about herself!)

Eminem:

"I'm Shady": I'm Shady!!
.. And that's my name

"My name is": My name is Slim Shady... I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off! (He must be some kind of rapper Jesus)

"The way I am": And I am, whatever you say I am

If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam

"The real Slim Shady": 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

"I'm back": That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm Back)

I'm Back (I'm Back) (SLIM SHADY!) I'm Back

"When I'm gone": And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn

Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice

"Without me": 'Cause it feels so empty without me

Don't you agree? Pop 'cause it's egocentric or egocentric cause it's pop?

Today's thing: Vagina dentata!

2010-06-22T12:24:00.000-07:00

A South African doctor developed the newest weapon against rapes in the country: a feminine condom with "teeth" that painfully grip the aggressor's penis in the moment of the penetration and can only be removed by a doctor.

The idea seems very interesting, but it got me thinking: if it becomes a hit in South Africa then every raper will start trying "the back door" first and so on. It's gonna end up with women using this condom even in their nostrils.
If you doubt it's real: http://www.antirape.co.za/
Tchau!

Sweden's royal wedding

2010-06-21T10:54:00.000-07:00

As you might already know, the Swedish princess Victoria got married last Saturday. After dating the same guy for 8 years, she decided it was time to tie their knots.
The event changed Stockholm's routine for some days. Many streets were closed and the access to the city center was very limited. All for the security of the royal family and its guests for the big party. A very expensive and marketed party. To gather more tourists and attention, the Swedish government started some sort of campaign called "Love Stockholm" with the motto "Celebration of love". It was a whole week with limited edition items sales and activities related to the wedding. It was ok, but nothing very remarkable.
Europe's royalty came in person to see Victoria say yes and gosh, I need to say, the royalty is ugly! Expensive dresses and jewels could not make up for the fact that money doesn't always buy beauty. No good looking princes, some few good looking princesses and lots of decrepit royal grannies looking like pit monsters.
The worst of all this love celebration thing though, was that the wedding ceremony itself had no kiss. Can you believe it? A wedding without the kiss! I don't know if this is something very Swedish or very royal. Just seemed very un-lovefull.
After they were done with the church, it was time for us, subjects, to get some loving. The newly weds went around the city in a carriage to wave and thank us for being a part of their kiss-less celebration. I was actually there and even managed to take a pic of the princess, that turned out to be blurry. So I'll leave you with this picture of her hand instead. Hehe.

Today's news: Portugal 7x0 North Korea

2010-06-21T10:11:00.000-07:00

I wonder how that crying North Korean player reacted to this score.

Also, judging by the kindness of dictator Kim Jong, we can expect a very warm welcome home for the North Korean team.

Brazilian game party. Aff....

2010-06-16T12:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went out with some friends to a Brazilian party to watch Brazil's first performance in the World Cup.
The place was crowded, more Swedes than anything else and they even played (bad) samba. It was funny to be in that environment, I started to see all the good old stereotypes:

-Brazilian girls in short shorts despite the Swedish cold;
-Brazilian guys checking on girls like if they could eat them with the eyes;
-Good looking Swedes with ugly Brazilians and vice versa;
-Swedish guys expecting to hunt Brazilian girls;
-Swedish girls expecting to be hunted by Brazilian guys.

Past all that, we had to stand for the whole first half of the game, dodging sweaty armpits and long people, to be able to see something in the big screen they had there. Result: by the beginning of the second half, I was already on my way home.
I saw no goals, but at least Brazil won!
Next game I will watch at home though...

(By the way, did you see the crying guy from North Korea? Poor! Broke my heart)

Silly mourning

2010-06-12T03:23:00.000-07:00

I woke up today and, as usual on weekends, ran to the Xbox to play some Red Dead Redemption. After some minutes of game playing, the console went crazy and the image got all messed up. So now I'll probably post a little bit more often, at least until it works properly again.
I gotta say that Xboxes are far from being the best consoles in the market. I had a Ps2 in Brazil and my sister guarantees it still works perfectly after at least 10 years of continuous use. But since I moved to Sweden I have been playing Xbox. First the older version, that also woke up one morning not wanting to work anymore and now Xbox 360, with the same kind of problem. I even got to know that there is an error like, if your Xbox 360 shows three red lights around the on/off button it means the definitive "death" of your console. What the hell!? Mine shows its first one right now.
As usual, Microsoft lets us down. Go Sony!

190 million hearts cheering together!

2010-06-07T09:47:00.000-07:00

How are you preparing yourself for the world cup? Maybe you don't care much but, me, like every Brazilian, can't wait for its beginning. I actually envy the ones who can be in Brazil to watch it because it is truly magical.

Most people in Rio organize barbecue parties for days when we play. It's not very common to see huge screens everywhere on the streets, 'cause most everyone is indoors, partying and watching the game closely. The streets tend to get completely desert actually.

Besides decorating everything, we also paint walls, sidewalks, streets etc with football related figures and sayings.

Here are some pics of a street in Rio very known by its nice and extensive decoration: "Alzirão". It hardly illustrates it, so I recommend you to visit it if you are in Rio right now.

Since this is my first world cup outside Brazil, I managed to find a Brazilian party to attent to and watch the first game (15/06) with my compatriots in the best Brazilian style: football and samba!

Good luck to us all and play fair!

Week update

2010-05-31T12:23:00.000-07:00

Since I haven't written for five days I thought I could update you and maybe even come up with some excuses for why I wasn't here when you needed:

-I was attacked by a Seagull: I wasn't even looking for trouble, just crossing the yard to get home when an angry mommy seagull came towards me in the best Hitchcock style. After running like a crazy hunchback, I noticed her offspring on the floor, so, ok, I forgave her. But anyway, it traumatized me and made me absent from the computer...

-I am playing a new game: Trust me, it is a very very good one. For the Rockstar (the company) games fans, this one is a must. It's called "Red dead redemption" and it's a wild west based adventure that got me in its lasso. I need to try really hard to stay away from the xbox, otherwise I can spend almost a whole day playing it (which is double as bad when you live in Sweden and need to enjoy the few sunny days of the year in this season).

-I discovered a song: I heard it while I was in Brazil some months ago. They played it everywhere...but I had no idea of what it was called, no one had either and I couldn't even try to remember the lyrics 'cause they don't sing much in it. I just liked it very much. Sounds sexy and mysterious somehow. Less mysterious now though, that I found it on youtube. It's called "Stereo Love". Enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-Z3YrHJ1sU

That's basically it. I will keep on updating you!

By the way, a small final protest concerning kids:

Kids crying incessantly while mommies completely ignore it.

Giant kids riding carriages (sounds almost like something from a fantasy book) occupying the entire bus.

Ok, over n' out.

Life in Sweden part 2

2010-05-25T13:29:00.000-07:00

Remember when I posted this picture to the left?
Well... the picture below was taken last saturday also from the same window from the same apartment...

Today's fable: The old lady, the mysterious underwear guy and the little dog in trouble

2010-05-21T13:03:00.000-07:00

Just a pic

2010-05-20T11:05:00.000-07:00

Cool, isn't it? :)

Spring!

2010-05-18T11:23:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone! I know I have been absent...just wanted to blame it on the good weather. Sweden is finally getting warmer (namely, +20C) and therefore I need to enjoy the few moments of sun and warmth. I will try to be more present and keep you updated with the latest Swedish spring happenings.

Hugs!

Show: Lady Gaga, Monster Ball Tour

2010-05-09T11:20:00.000-07:00

The rain that fell over Stockholm yesterday was a problem for many people. For me and for everyone else waiting in the huge line outside Globen to see Lady Gaga, it was part of the show. By the time I got there, 30 minutes before the start, people who had camped outside to get a good view of the stage were already in. Judging by the hundreds of plastic bags, flasks and rests of food around the entrance to the ground area, they waited a long time.

I went to a line for getting into the place. No need to rush, I had a reserved seat by the 7th row. It had a great view of the stage, few meters away from it.

The opening band was Semi precious weapons. Not really my cup of tea but I could understand why they were chosen as opening band. The vocalist was a man dressed as a glamorous woman, calling everyone motherfuckers and screaming. He even said " I wanna have sex with everyone of you here, Stockholm". No, thanks!

They finally went away and about half an hour later everything got dark and the screaming crowd, now much more numerous, got the message: She was ready.

Curtains up, the show had started. The song, I had never heard before, was not one of her radio hits. Lady Gaga was at the top of some stairs, in the dark, only the shape of her body visible. I thought that entrance was quite so so. I was expecting something more triumphal.

She eventually came down to the center of the large stage, with her sparkly but simple outfit, very close to the audience, which by the way was very eclectic: men, women, homos, heteros, transvestites and children. Anyway. After the cold start, she managed to heat it up with "Just dance", making even us who had seats, stand up and do as the song was telling us to. People were enjoying that moment, responding to her screams, "Stand up Stockholm!".

The stage was also a mood heater, looking really advanced, full of lights, dancers, metallic structures and even a car. They changed the scenario at least 5 times and they were all really good and elaborated. One of the most impressive ones was a huge ugly fish, which she told us was the monster that wanted to get her (she sang "paparazzi" in that moment...). It was only one of the many stories she told, to guide us through the psychedelic idea of the show: her way to the monster ball, the best party in the world, where people were free to be what they wanted to be. She said also that people told her she would never get there, that she was not pretty, tall or skinny enough and that she simply looked at them and replied "I am a star!". The audience going crazy after she said that. I could understand why Lady Gaga is such a Diva for people who feel they don't fit.

What did fit was her clothes. She changed them (if we can call some clothes) many times, mostly during the end of the songs, going backstage while singing. By the way, there was no band with her. A DJ did most of the work, which I thought was quite good because the songs sounded the same as in the CD: recorded background, recorded backing vocals, just the lead voice erased for her to fill in live. She did it ok although many times we couldn't listen to her voice in the middle of all the other noises.

The show lasted exactly 2 hours and had no pauses. She thanked us for "buying the ticket to see my show" and finished with another un-famous song. I thought the whole thing had been nice but was quite let down by the fact she didn't sing the only song I really like: Bad Romance. I still had hopes though.

Everything went dark and people started to scream "Encore! Encore!" and me thinking "Bad Romance pleaaaase!". Then the curtains went up just a little bit, still everything dark, I saw it because I was really close to the stage. Lady Gaga then came walking to the catwalk surrounded by the crowd, some of them, also able to see her for being next to the stage, yelling. The first sound that came out of her mouth, straight from the darkness of the Globen was a powerful "Oooooo ooooo ooo...."...I immediately went "Yaaaaaaaaaaay!"... my scream fast swallowed by everyone elses yays, they all waiting for this song to close the night with a golden key, the last song to go home happy. Well, I believe we did.

Back!

2010-04-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to our normal routine, dear reader!

The volcano made me stay another week in Rio (I am not complaining) but I managed to get back to Sweden safely.

Rio is mostly the same, purgatory of beauty and chaos, as Fernanda Abreu (famous Brazilian singer born there) used to sing. After being 1,5 year in Sweden without visiting my country, I got to notice some stuff and miss other.

The street population got bigger, for example. Maybe because the rain destroyed many of the poorish houses on the hills (favelas), forcing people to get downtown and beg for money. The thing is that, everywhere I went to in Rio I could easily trip on someone sitting along the sidewalks. Sad but true.

The good thing was to be again in touch with the great Brazilian friendliness. People talk to you, acknowledge you and are very likely to help you if you are in need.

Also, just to wake up, open the window and see blue sky and sunshine most everyday is amazing (you Swedes know what I'm talking about...).

By the way, I went up north to Pernambuco state, to a city called "Porto de Galinhas". I can say now that it was the best beach I have been to so far (and trust me, I am an expert on the beach subject). The place was a paradise... warm and clear sea, the fish come and swim around you. The hotel just some steps away from the beach. It almost felt fake, as if we were in "Truman show" or something.

I finish this post with one pic from there. I totally recommend it!

Water to ashes

2010-04-19T09:50:00.000-07:00

Here I am again! I made it through the flood and now it is volcano time. I was supposed to fly back today, but the flight was cancelled. I can't say I got sad, after all, not many people have the opportunity to be stuck in Rio, not even having to pay for the stay.

Hope all my european readers have been wearing their masks (I actually have one at home hehe).

See ya!

Another day in...the water

2010-04-06T15:45:00.000-07:00

After a very nice vacation up north, I finally came back to Rio. The flight was quite bad, lots of turbulence and intense rain all the time, very bad visibility. To make it even more bearable some poor girl puked...well, we landed safely. Our first experience in Rio was something like this:

It has been raining for more than one day now, non stop. I hope the next update won't be from a boat.

Another day in Paradise

2010-04-03T14:06:00.000-07:00

Olá! I'm here in Brazil as I told you, enjoying the great temperatures...30C something in the air and 30C something in the water as well (I am not kidding) here in Porto de Galinhas (up north). Since I don't wanna spend a long time by the computer I am summarizing this amazing place in one picture.

See ya!

Today's thing: Push up panties

2010-03-26T13:00:00.000-07:00

Help finally came, my dear female readers. Now you won't have to spend hours at the gym working your ass off, literally. These panties seem promising but it looks a bit uncomfortable doesn't it?

Férias!

2010-03-24T11:06:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone! Sorry for the few posts. Thing is that I am going to Brazil by the end of the week and therefore I'm already feeling like I'm on vacation. I'll keep you updated.

See ya!

Today's thing: perv Lion King toy

2010-03-19T13:02:00.000-07:00

http://videon.se/fail/markligt-det-framkom-inte-i-filmen-att-han-var-katolsk-prast/

"Always a surprise inside"

Today's thing: Head boob

2010-03-15T11:21:00.000-07:00

If you have problems with guys checking your cleavage all the time here is the solution. The newest accessory in the stores is the head boob. Just place it on your forehead and guys will be mesmerized by it, leaving your real boobs alone.

"I just can't get you out of my head..."

Today's evil review: New moon

2010-03-07T12:50:00.000-08:00

I know, this review should be here earlier, but It took me a while to want to see this moving given that the first one was very boring for my taste.

Well, no surprise for this one either. Ok that the target audience might be teenagers which makes me, a 26 year old, senile to be able to judge, but I seriously felt like jumping into the screen and slapping the main character "Bella" many times.

I don't understand how anyone can sympathize with her, besides wanting to be in her place 'cause of the hotties who fight for her. The girl has the constant expression of someone who is smelling fart, is annoying and on top of that, wines about everything! Gosh, it was almost worst than Frodo in Lord of the rings. They should pair actually, would be a perfect couple.

Another thing I noticed in both Twilight and New moon is that the couples never kiss! Few times it happens it's like a little smack here and there, no passionate mouth interaction. Then they come up with that excuse that they can't kiss Bella or have her because they might lose control...poor, the chick is gonna end up as Bridget Jones in the next movie.

My advice is: if you are a (hetero) guy, run fast. If I am a girl and still disliked the movie despite the handsome guys in it, you will most likely be in agony while watching.

If you are a girl: watch it while you take care of your nails or something and notice all the things I said here.

In the end I realized that the real reason for Edward not wanting to turn Bella into a vampire is having to spend an eternity close to that girl.

Today's news: South Korean marries a pillow

2010-03-06T13:54:00.000-08:00

We can clearly see the tears of joy coming out of the pillow's eye...or would it be...urgh!

Today's thing: Skyaking

2010-03-05T12:27:00.000-08:00

Now, questions:

1-How does he jump from the plane?

2-How does he land safely?

3-What makes a person who wants to feel the adrenaline of falling from the sky, want to be tucked into a kayak?

Based on a true story: The omen

2010-02-27T09:27:00.000-08:00

"It wasn't me mommy..."

When you complain about heat...

2010-02-22T09:43:00.000-08:00

...think of me and my new thermometer picture, five degrees less than the last one. Spring should be coming soon, but...I guess not.

Today's evil review: The Wolfman

2010-02-21T11:16:00.000-08:00

Dark skies, mysterious woods, an evil creature and a small town: features that definitely set the mood for any good werewolf movie. I couldn't wait to watch this one. Sadly my initial excitement didn't leave the cinema with me.

Before seeing it, I wondered why it was called "The Wolfman" and not "The Werewolf". This is because the creature is sort of a hairy man and not a manly wolf. Nice move for keeping the "humanity" of the characters. On the other hand, it took away the fear factor since what you think will be a horrid creature resembles an angry beardy man.

This being said, the actors did a good job with an underdeveloped story (although I have my doubts about the bad guy from "Matrix", who seemed to play the same character in this movie too). Enough to save it, but not to make it unforgettable. It could have been so much more, the plot was promising, the suspense was built...to then vanish into the forest's mist.

Also some characters were mis-explored. The gypsy, the servant, the brother...pity.

I still recommend that you watch "The Wolfman" if you are an admirer of the genre as well. Just don't expect it to come close to great titles like "Dracula" nor to pay off for a great cinema experience.

PS: "Dracula" admirers will notice the resemblance between the soundtracks of the movies. That's because Danny Elfman inspired himself in Wojciech Kilar's score for the vampire classic. A little too much, I would say.

Today's news: Italian bishops ask youngsters not to use Ipods on Ash Wednesday.

2010-02-16T11:27:00.000-08:00

Microsoft is indeed expanding...

Gringo guide for getting along in Rio de Janeiro: Taking a bus

2010-02-10T10:44:00.000-08:00

I decided to create a small guide for everyone who is thinking about travelling to Brazil, specially Rio. For the ones who come from the introvert, developed parts of the world, like Sweden, this guide will be double as useful. Today's chapter is "Taking a bus":

-First of all you will have to stand at the bus stop and wave for the bus you want to take. It won't stop if you, or at least someone else, don't raise your arm and shake your hand a little bit.

-If you find a double seat available and don't wanna share it with someone else, don't think you will avoid human contact by sitting by the corridor and putting your backpack on the seat by the window (god, this is so Swedish): be sure that as soon as more people get on the bus, someone will ask you to move your bag so they can sit by your side.

-If you can't find a place to sit and have to stand up while carrying a big bag or many bags, it is very likely that someone who is sitting will ask you to hold your bag(s) for you. Brazilians are friendly and in Rio this is a common practice. Don't worry, they are not trying to rob you (well, at least not by doing this).

-People love to start conversations on the bus. They are not freaks, just trying to be social. If they hear you speaking some other language then be sure to feel like the attraction of the ride. They will stare at you curiously and will probably ask if you want some help if you look confused about where to get off.

That's it for today. Feel free to email me with suggestions for the next guide topic! Tchau!

Today's news 2: Mike Tyson dances on Italian TV show

2010-02-09T10:14:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIABVXV5TEY&feature=player_embedded

The guy who gave him an "8" was found dead and earless in a dumpster in Rome.

Today's news: Ex English mayor goes to jail for stealing panties

2010-02-09T10:02:00.000-08:00

Now that we have seen his picture we all understand why he had to steal panties...

Today's news: Mel Gibson curses at reporter

2010-02-03T11:38:00.000-08:00

At least now the reporter is sure about how the public will perceive Mel Gibson...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfKw1ifuplU

Today's news: Woman dies after celebrating lottery win

2010-01-28T12:36:00.000-08:00

Deborah McDonald all happy during the lottery game, already thinking about celebrating later after the show...if she only knew that the disguised chubby woman behind her also had plans for that night...

Today's news: Danish soldier faints during cerimony

2010-01-28T11:00:00.000-08:00

You don't need to speculate about what caused this guy to faint. It is very clear, judging by the picture below, that he actually saw a mutant.

There's no greater power than the power of...

2010-01-28T10:54:00.000-08:00

...Photoshop!

Great masterpieces and the inspiration

2010-01-25T11:05:00.000-08:00

Now you know why!

Today's news: Chubby wife crushes lover

2010-01-24T07:04:00.000-08:00

Mia Landingham, a woman from Ohio weighing 136 kg, killed her 54 kg husband after sitting on him during a fight.

She definitely had a crush on him.

Telletubie moment of the day

2010-01-20T10:56:00.000-08:00

These two scientists were studying the Hawaiian volcano Kilauea when suddenly...uh-oh!

Today's news: Hairy Golden Globe winner shocks on the red carpet

2010-01-18T11:31:00.000-08:00

No, the movie was not King Kong. By the way, if what we see is hairy like that, imagine what we don't...

Today's picture: American Idol's new judges

2010-01-14T09:40:00.000-08:00

Today's news: German tennist Sabine Lisicki defeated in Sydney

2010-01-11T08:02:00.000-08:00

That's what happened when her opponent scored the match point:

"The power of Christ compels you!"

Today's news: Tila Tequila single again after fiancee's death

2010-01-10T09:16:00.000-08:00

I heard this picture was taken three days after...

Well...liNe goes on...

"Next!"

Today's news: Rain devastates various cities in Brazil

2010-01-05T12:05:00.000-08:00

We Brazilians surely deserve the title of "party people"!

Today's evil review: Sherlock Holmes

2010-01-02T12:50:00.000-08:00

This is a very non cinema movie. I must admit I watched it because it was New Year's holiday (I had nothing else to do and there was no other movie to see). There is nothing special about seeing it on the big screen. Your tv will do.
Sherlock Holmes is a drunk, dirty, almost tramp, detective who seems to live at Dr. Watson's expense. Talking about Watson, I am hoping for some director to give Jude Law a gay role in some movie, 'cause while it doesn't happen he will continue to turn every character he plays into a feminine one. Just look at him in the movie poster...what kind of expression is that!?
Continuing on Holmes persona, not only he is a bohemian but also a fighter and sometimes even a bit dumb, relying on Watson's guidance to get rid of some of his problems.
The plot is silly in the beginning but at least it gets better by the end. Other than that and apart from some unnecessary hollywood jokes (like when two characters are fighting the bad guys but they stop to comment on eachothers outfits, for example) the movie is ok...
I still have to say though, if you're looking for the old glamour from the old detective books, stay home.

Shit happens!

2009-12-29T09:07:00.000-08:00

A tv show in Israel got a present from their guest of the day...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6TXZZqkLQ8

"For me to poop on!"

Today's news: Brittany Murphy died of heart attack

2009-12-21T10:57:00.000-08:00

The poor girl finally realized who she had gotten married to...

Today's evil review: Where the wild things are

2009-12-20T03:41:00.000-08:00

I don't think we get to know where, actually. When I watched the trailler I really thought this movie had potential. Fantasy, creative looking characters and that taste of evil innocence, like you wonder when and how something bad will happen, since it is somehow a children's story. The thing is that this part never comes. The plot is poor, nothing interesting happens and I believe even those who love "weird movies" would get bored. There is also no empathy with the main character, a small boy.

The movie is based on a children's book and I wonder how similar they are. Nevertherless, I read that Warner Brothers studio was so unhappy with the director's first final version of the movie that they wanted to re-shoot the whole 75 million dollars project in 2008. The version on the theaters now was the accepted one...go figure!

Today's news: Curly hair gene discovered

2009-12-15T11:07:00.000-08:00

No more babyliss. Scientists from Queensland, Australia, found out the gene responsible for curly hair. The discovery is expected to change the cosmetic world, since now there has been speculations on the creation of pills for developing hair curls. Cool isn't it?

I can almost hear Paris Hilton saying "Tinkerbell...guess what mommy bought you..."

Today's annoying thing: Loud breathing people

2009-12-11T10:30:00.000-08:00

Sitting close to someone who, despite not being tired, breaks the silence and steals some of your oxygen with a very intense inhale/exhale action. If you've had that experience before you know how disturbing it is.

No air, no air...

Today's contradiction: New Moon

2009-12-07T10:17:00.000-08:00

Have you realized that Kristen Stewart has that dull expression in every Twilight/New moon picture we see? Why?

Choose the best alternative:

1- Her character is not supposed to sleep well due to her relationship with a vampire.

2-Her character is lesbian.

3-She is actually trying to send an eye message to all teens: "Don't fool yourselves, they're gay".

Today's news: Sienna Miller caught leaving ex boyfriend Jude Law's apartment

2009-12-03T10:34:00.000-08:00

She was probably running away from him...

Today's news: Tiger Woods hospitalized with facial cuts after car crash

2009-11-27T14:13:00.000-08:00

Guess what he was doing...

Today's news: Courtney Love posts on her facebook: "Britney Spears was molested by her father"

2009-11-26T08:04:00.000-08:00

If I were Britney I would post on my facebook "At least I didn't kill my husband".

Today's news: Naked couple having sex in Sydney's historical clock tower

2009-11-24T09:33:00.000-08:00

That's modernity: instead of pigeons now there are humans humping around on top of old buildings...

Today's pic: Hide it better

2009-11-17T08:26:00.000-08:00

By the look on the guy's face and by the giant knife he is holding, if I was Rihanna I would get this finger out of my mouth and run away...fast!

Today's news: Finnair offers silicon implants to costumers

2009-11-15T00:29:00.000-08:00

A Finnish airline called Finnair came out with an interesting offer to their most loyal female costumers: silicon implants.

All the costumers need to do is gather mere 3.2 million bonus points which can be then exchanged into a breast augmentation surgery.

I wonder what the corresponding offer to men is...

Today's Evil Review: "Paranormal activity"

2009-11-13T13:13:00.000-08:00

This new low budget "scary" movie started to get popular and so I decided to watch it. First of all, despite its name, don't fool yourself: there is no activity in it. You will spend eternal one and a half hour in front of the screen waiting for something...that never comes. Not even spirits decided to show up as extras.
The story is centered in a couple having paranormal problems in their house. Not only they decide to record everything happening around (god knows why characters love to do it in low budget movies) but also they do that in complete darkness. So even if there is something to see, give up, 'cause you will not see it.
On the other hand, this might be a good movie if you are one of those people who watch movies while listening to music and doing sudoku, all at the same time.

Well, since this is an Evil review, here is a small turn off list for "Paranormal activity":

-Boredom: Nothing happens.
-Give me a break: People go around in the middle of a scary night in a haunted house without turning on the lights!
-Love to play the stupid: Everybody knows the character shouldn't do "it" but the dummo does it anyway.

-Incredible hardwares: The camera batteries never end!

Turn on about "Paranormal activity":

-Hope: It proves that anyone with a portable camera and a bad plot in their hands can make millions with a movie.

Today's news: Steven Tyler leaves Aerosmith

2009-11-10T10:27:00.001-08:00

I heard the band is already looking for a replacement. Rumors say that one of the following is likely to substitute Steven:

Today's movie: Super Mario begins

2009-11-08T12:00:00.000-08:00

Today's pic: Beyonce's revelation

2009-11-06T12:26:00.000-08:00

Judging by her expression I guess she had just seen this exact image on one huge screen at her show.

Today's mockery: U2 vs Germans

2009-11-05T10:51:00.000-08:00

U2 will perform today in Berlin to celebrate 20 years since the fall of It's wall. Around ten thousand free tickets were available online for the fast people who managed to get one. U2, probably not happy for having to perform for free, took the piss out of the germans and made sure to place a huge wall around the show's location, blocking the view of many who thought they could take a look from outside.

"Ah, Bono! You always so ironic!"

Today's news: Fotographer captures a shark smiling

2009-11-05T10:43:00.000-08:00

I also smile when I see food right in front of me...

Naked Chinese man flees lover's furious husband

2009-11-03T11:45:00.000-08:00

You're probably making a huge effort to try and see his "things" in this picture. Well, read the headlines again and you'll see it's a waste of time...

Today's thing: Twilight's Robert Pattinson's panties

2009-10-29T10:55:00.000-07:00

"Not only it smells like the undead but it can now also look like one!"

Today's news: Five year old Giuliano Stroe is world's strongest kid

2009-10-27T13:05:00.000-07:00

Now look at his pic and picture his poor mom trying to make him clean his room, do his homework...

"I told you, bitch, I don't want to! AAAAAAHHH!"

Nicole Richie's family pic

2009-10-21T09:34:00.000-07:00

Well...I guess now we know who the little girl's real father is...

Today's news: Human scanner starts operating in Manchester's airport

2009-10-15T10:45:00.000-07:00

I don't know what gets my attention the most: the small package he is carrying around his thigh or the small package in the middle of his legs.
-

Today's news: Stephen Gately is dead

2009-10-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

From "Boyzone" to "Godzone".

Today's news: Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize

2009-10-09T14:10:00.000-07:00

And right now in heaven Mother Teresa is thinking: "Seriously! And I, who spent all those years in Calcutta...if I only knew it was that easy...tsc!"

Today's news: Swedish lesbian city is a myth

2009-10-08T05:02:00.000-07:00

Swedish travel agents have been bombarded with inquiries after a false story about a city in Sweden populated by sex-mad lesbians was reported by a major Chinese news agency.

Now choose the best alternative:
a)- But of course these news are fake. They were "made in China".

b)- Well, I hope Ellen Degeneres still have time to unbook her tickets.

Today's product: O.Bama

2009-10-07T05:14:00.001-07:00

In the best place in the worst times

Uuuuuurgh!

2009-10-06T05:16:00.000-07:00

What best describes the pic?
1-If the egg is this big, imagine the size of the "cock".
2-The chicken survived.
3-The chicken now knows how you feel after days without going to the bathroom...

Back!

2009-10-05T04:52:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone! Sorry for being so absent. I had much to do last week. Today I tried looking for some cool news to make fun of but all I want to comment on is that Rio de Janeiro (the city I come from!) is going to host the Olympics in 2016. Some of my friends who live there reported celebrations everywhere around. Totally understandable, since it means a lot to the country which is also hosting the FIFA world cup in 2014. See you there!

The ugly truth

2009-09-29T02:10:00.000-07:00

Since singer Susan Boyle has been on TV there's been a marked drop in suicide bombing. Apparently, a lot of the terrorists didn't realise what a virgin looks like.

Today's news: Horse measuring 2,03 meters gets the title of world's tallest

2009-09-28T00:55:00.000-07:00

I hope the guy in the picture was lucky enough to get out of there before the tallest horse in the world got a hard on...
-

"I'mma let you finnish"

2009-09-25T02:04:00.000-07:00

After interrupting Taylor Swift in the MTV's VMA, Kanye West decided to continue his saga with some other celebrities:

Today's news: Baby was born weighing 8,7 Kg

2009-09-24T01:27:00.000-07:00

Today's news: Referee pees during football match in Qatar

2009-09-23T02:15:00.000-07:00

This is what I call full entertainment!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCXzt4UJ8oQ

Think your monday sucks?

2009-09-21T12:49:00.000-07:00

Think again...

Whatever happened to...Gollum

2009-09-18T06:26:00.000-07:00

Travelled all the way from the Middle Earth to die in Panama :S