Lights, camera, action!

Since being a blogger doesn’t pay much, we need to search for other kind of income sources. With this in mind, last Sunday I ended up on set to record Per Gessle’s new music video. For those who don’t know who Per Gessle is, remember the old pop-rock band “Roxette”? Well, he is the guy. Not very known abroad, he is a big celebrity in Sweden and has his solo career going on.

The song is called “Silly really” and the video script is about a nerdy guy who tries to sing karaoke in a disco, while everybody else makes fun of him. Three kinds of characters were on scene: business men, who would point at the poor nerd; drag queens, who would have fun with him and four girls, including me, who would look hot, laugh and drink. Since you all know it takes more than one take to achieve perfection, we had to drink lots of horrible tasting Champagne many times. Argh!

From the three girls with me, one was nice. The other two looked like they had diarrhea. You know, not only that serious look, but when they look so bored that their eyes seem like they were pulled down to their mouth. And they were pretty, but looked like they had smelled pooped diapers.

Well, I played my part walking in the background, drinking, laughing about nothing and so. The whole thing took seven hours, but the filming crew was still there when I left. Was a cool and boring experience at the same time. Also, it’s the kind of activity where you need to deal with lots of competition and egocentric people, fighting for who will show off more. Not really my thing.

In the end I got paid cash (the best part) and went home happy but not very sure if I would want to do it again. Well, we never know. I will make sure to post the video here once it’s ready so you can check it. See you!

SE7OLUTION

He can sing, he can dance, he is hot and Asian! Still unknown to many of you, Choi Dong-Wook or “se7en” as he is called within the entertainment industry, is becoming a huge sensation around the world. Besides being a big pop celebrity in his birth country, Korea, Se7en is famous in Japan, China, Thailand and recently the Americas.
Not even 24 years old, Se7en combines very good vocals with great beat, creating something new in the pop scene, something different from the old commercial formulas. No boy band wannabe, no usual stuff. His shows are full of amazing effects and dance performances, making the girls, biggest part of his audience, go insane! Now if you are a guy who likes some pop but thinks Se7en’s style would never suit you, give it a go. Not even the Korean lyrics will stop you from memorizing the songs and trying to sing and dance insanely to it. This is just one of the thousands of videos of him on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAE5j3aEqIU&feature=related
So, be ready everybody. He’s gonna make you “break your neck”. And it’s who? He’s S-E-V-E-N!

Watch out guys!

Everyone is fascinated by all the dangerous animals on planet earth. Many of them are known to us and many (fortunately) are not. The subject of today's post is a very tiny yet big menace who swims calmly in the Amazon rivers in Brazil. Its name is Candiru.
The little fish has about 5 centimeters and its grey color makes it almost invisible in the water. It is a parasite that sticks its "fangs" (small hooks around its "mouth") to other fish gills, feeding on their blood. You are probably wondering why would it be dangerous for us, humans. Well, the thing is that the Candiru is interested in all sorts of blood, including yours!
As if sucking blood wasn't already enough, this fish is also attracted by urine! What can be more pleasant than peeing as soon as you enter the water? That's the attack moment. Candiru follows the pee flow and end up right into your urethra. Especially guys, since they love to go bathe naked or wearing loose shorts.
After that, the fish starts its blood consumption and according to what the victims say it is incredibly painful. If inside your penis, it will damage the blood circulation, make it swollen and the easiest way to remove it from there is surgery. If the victim takes too long to look for help, they can say goodbye to their beloved member...ouch!
This is a video of a guy who had to be operated because of a Candiru.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSLKZzuLC00
So watch out if you ever think of visiting the Amazon. And you guys thought piranhas were evil!

"They kill, we clean!"

Feeling sad because your son decided to commit suicide cutting himself open in a bath tub? Now you have one less thing to worry about: cleaning the mess. Yes, sounds morbid, but the newest market sensation in the USA is the “Murder cleaners”. A specialized team ready to remove any kind of disgusting thing from homicide or suicide scenes. Blood, poop, body fluids, whatever. You think it’s a joke? Check the website in the picture.

Joan Dougherty, who works for the company“Trauma cleaners” in Florida says, after the cleaners are done with their job, people can’t find one single blood drop around the place. “We make it easier for people to move back in”. I suppose this woman can eat pasta Bolognese watching “Saving Private Ryan”.

Now I wonder which kind of marketing such companies do. Maybe they send hit men out to kill random rich people who would probably require their services. Or maybe they work in cooperation with serial killers (this last one would be quite profitable in the USA). I actually believe these companies should think of opening offices in Sweden and Denmark since the suicide rates are so high up here. They could even have some slogan like “Bio Cleaners Nordic: cleaning in cold blood”, hehe.

The music of our lives

She looks deep into his eyes, knowing what she wants...he can feel it...won’t take longer…he passionately takes her into his arms…and glue their lips together in a wet kiss…peneneneneow…tutu…peneow…tutu…peneow….peneow…take my breath awaaaaaay…

Ok, now pause it. This might be a Top Gun scene, but what if it was your life? What if, just like in the movies, invisible speakers would play a theme song to illustrate its important moments?

Example: you and that one you always wanted, waited for so long until the so expected kiss… I bet at least 80% percent of occidental population would choose “I will always love you” by Whitney Houston for this moment (before you disagree, remember: the world is tacky AND gay). Or if you, girl, is feeling so hot and beautiful when you step into a disco…yeah, all the guys look at you wanting you…we put the scene in slow motion as you walk and your speakers start playing “My milkshake brings all the guys to the yard…” and you shake your hair like in a shampoo commercial…making your way to the dance floor under the jealous looks coming from the other girls around. Ahh…I know you liked the thought!

You guys, don’t get sad. There would be plenty of choices for you too. Think of someone pinching your girlfriend’s ass in a bar, and you see the bastard who did so… our beloved slow motion takes part again while you tight your fists full of fury screaming with that thick guttural voice: ”Noooooooooooo” and you deliver a skilled punch right into his face by the sound of “eye of the tiger is the thrill of the fight…”.

Well, here is today's list for moments and its theme songs:

-You just got dumped: “Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend…” by James blunt.

-You wake up in the morning and check yourself in the mirror: “You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful it’s true…” also by James blunt.

-You try your gala dress from last year and realize it won’t go up your hips: “Big girls you are beautiful…” by Mika.

-Your boss tells you today that he is travelling to Hawaii in two hours and you are gonna be the one responsible for his errands: “I hate you so much right now…Grrrr” by Kelis.

-Politicians on tv: “A little less conversation, a little more action please…” by Elvis.

And I don’t go further but there are so many instrumental songs we could use. As that one from the shower scene in Hitchcock’s’ movie “Pshyco”. Would fit nicely if you are sweating off your ass to cheat on a test under the teacher’s nose.

Anyways, we should start getting used to this theme song idea. Maybe Apple will come up with the new Ipod, which is intelligent enough to analyze the moments of your life and play a song that fits it nicely. Since it doesn’t exist yet and it’s 01:40 am here, I will now get some sleep thinking of a sweet lullaby (yes, that instrumental one). My eyes are closing slowly…my mind shuts…and I fall into Morpheus arms…zzzzzz…blimblim blim blim blim blim blim.

Hold your breath!

Yesterday I watched a cool movie called ”Perfume”, where the character’s life is based on all the smells he could sense. This made me think of my own life and the variety of smells surrounding me. How can both good and bad smells be so disturbing? As when a good looking guy or girl passes by you on the streets leaving that nice trace after them. Or when people “release” themselves in a packed train and all you want is to jump out the window for “gas freedom”. Yes, you know what I mean, huh? No one is safe from being caught by the nose.

Remember when you had that boyfriend/girlfriend who used to wear a very nice perfume? You also probably remember that every time you sensed that smell on someone else all the memories of your ex came up again, right? Well, according to Wikipedia, the primary responsible for the relation memory-emotional reaction are groups of neurons called The amygdalae. Through many connections around your brain, they receive and process smell information. So, if you see yourself crying of sadness ‘cause your sister decided to use the same shampoo as “she” used to, blame it on the amygdalae instead.
You see, this smell thing is somehow so important in our lives that so far I have written the word “smell” seven times. I will try to exemplify such importance:

-Perfume stores: hell on earth for allergic and pregnant people. I wonder if those who work in these stores have less functional amygdalae, since their olfaction must be significantly damaged.

-Your beloved one: how nice is to feel his or her smell on your pillow, clothes or when you are together. Hummm!

-Fart: Sadly mankind still hasn’t developed pants with active carbon filters. When this day comes every man and woman in the world will feel freer.

-Food: what can make you happier than the smell of good food? Smell of good food when you are hungry, of course. In both ways, it is very nice.

-Smelly people: if you study “Swedish for immigrants” then you know what I mean. I believe the word “deodorant” is not in the dictionary for some cultures.

-Public bathrooms: I don’t need to say much about this one. Especially if you enter it after someone has made something solid and you feel like Gollum entering a foggy smelly cave, finding his preeeeciousssss.

That’s it folks. Remember the importance of the air the ones around you breathe. The invisible and magnificent world of smells surrounds us all and its dangers can be closer to your nose than you think. After all what you see is not always what you get.

Show me the meaning of being boooored

Hi people. I decided to stop my "irritating" posts for a while, since I realized nothing really irritates me here in Sweden. Instead, today I will write about the wonders of being bored at home.
I know most people who work dream of not working. They come home and complain about being tired, not having enough time, the boss is a prick and so on. The sad thing is that many of the ones who don't have a job (and specially, live in a different country than your own) feel equally disturbed by the lack of things to do, lack of challenges and maybe even the lack of a pricky boss!
I tried it all:

Running in Slottsskugen (a park around here)> after precise 30 seconds I felt my heart jumping out of my mouth.

Ok, walking in Slottsskugen> in one week I could tell the order of appearence of each dog and its owners through my circuit. The day I realized I wanted to stop was when around 17:00 of a windy afternoon I saw no one else but me in the park and I thought it should be rapists season. Better to walk in the mornings.

Watching tv> I seriously know by heart the dialogues and songs in the commercials. "kom igen kom igen byt upp dig", "It's good to be three" and so on. Advertisement has no better target than me.

Shopping> it's hard to keep up when you realize you have no money. Anyway, it doesn't hurt to watch stuff through the windows like a hungry dog watching the chicken machines.

Taking care of home> after a while you master all the tasks and then you manage to finish them pretty fast. This means you will have the entire day to explore your boredom.

Socializing with your partner> this feels almost like a dog thing too if you spent the entire day bored. When the partner gets home you just want him to pet you a bit or throw a ball so you can catch. He is your best friend (this comparison was amazing, wasn't it?)!

So, after all these trials, I decided to meet my friends more often, after all the ones I meet often through the week are the ones equally bored and jobless like me. We will end up starting some discussion group or something like that, like rich bored people do. But instead of deciding where donating money to we will talk about what to cook or which job websites are the best.
Anyway, the point with that text is: don't complain about having a job, you could be working for the sake of boredom instead. And trust me, you don't want it to be your boss.