Saturday, December 27, 2008
Hello!Sorry for the delay in writing, vacation time! Now reporting straight from the warm lands. Facing awesome humid temperatures of 30+ celsius. I think I got unused. No hair gel or make up works fine here. They vanish at the first sweat drop.
Nice to show some cleavage again and wear summer clothes, but the heat feels warmer when you have tasted the almost polar cold. You feel sticky the entire day!
Can't spend too much time here. Will go out to taste some nice brazilian barbecue!
Promise I'm gonna write again soon!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Yesterday I went to the Opera house to watch “La Bohème”. I really like classic music and opera so I was very excited since it was the first time I would watch it in Europe. To my surprise, people were not dressed super elegant as they do in Brazil when it’s opera night. It’s nice, because it shows it is more popular here (or that people got poorer because of the economic crisis).
Everything was great. Production, scenario, singers. Even the chocolate muffin I ate at the pause was tasty. We got a privileged view from our seats and as usual the opera was in Italian (this one was written by Puccini), but with Swedish subtitles. One of the cool things about going to an opera is that you get to know things about famous classic music you had no idea about before. Like in the aria called “Quando me’n vo”, which means “When I walk/go”. I had always known this one with only the orchestra, never with someone singing. I actually had no idea it was from “La Bohème”. And then one of the characters, an egocentric, good looking and heartbreaking lady starts singing this beautiful melody, saying that, when she walks down the street, everyone looks at her, admiring her beauty from head to feet. It was truly beautiful, the melody, the power of her voice…great!
Anyway…all that beauty didn’t prevent me from listing some things that always happen when we go watch operas, ballets or similar:
-Coughing people: Amazing how people spare all the phlegm they have been gathering a whole day to cough it out at the theater. Not mentioning the ones with no phlegm at all, but that simply swallowed saliva in a wrong way and can’t stop coughing, just to disturb you and the others.
-Crying people: If you look carefully around you can see people wiping their tears. I couldn’t resist it myself.
-Plastic bags: Another classic. People who need to mess with a plastic bag in the important or silent scenes. Put those and the coughing ones together and we have an orchestra.
-Professional clappers: These are the ones who know exactly when to clap, because the act is ending, even before it ends.
-Exciters: Those are cool somehow and very common in Brazil at least. They stand up by the end of an act to clap or to scream “Bravo!” and so.
Well, I went home happy and satisfied with the show. Waiting for the next one!
If you want to check the beautiful known aria I mentioned above, here it is:
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
In order to take care of my body and health I go to the gym every day. And every day it’s the same thing on the radio: Rihanna, Neyo, Justin, Britney etc with the same songs top of the billboard. The kind of “working out music”. You can lift small weights following the rhythm:“Umbrella, ella, ella, e, e, e”... could you picture it? Works perfect. I even memorized the order of the songs the DJ plays. He probably leaves the whole list playing and goes home or something.
The thing is: one of these days to my surprise, it was not Rihanna leading my work out series, but some kind of slow music in a language I couldn’t identify. Then after some few verses I realized it was Finnish . The gym owner, a happy old man from Finland, came closer to me and I asked him what it was:
-This is Finnish tango! I am Finnish, you know…hehe.
-Oh, nice! Cool to listen to something else than the same pop stuff on the radio. -I said cordially.
Big mistake. The following days were interesting. He would play Finnish tango all the time and it was nice, I liked it. The thing is that after two whole weeks listening to it you realize you do your series much slower than normal. And not only that…after the tango he would play old romantic American songs. So instead of having Rihanna and her “Disturbiaaaa” disturbing me and making me do fifty sit ups, I could do only 25 to the sound of “Unforgettable...in every way….”. And not only me. Actually most of the ones working out are quite old and you can see their eyelids closing slowly while they pull and lift… “Crazy…crazy for feeling so lonely…” and we all get slower.
I really hope this is not part of a sordid plan by the happy Finnish man. Getting us all drugged with music. Nice “narcotics”, I guess :)
Friday, December 12, 2008
I don’t really know if it’s just me or I’m surrounded by people who don’t really care about hygiene. I still remember the first time I came to Sweden and stayed at a friend’s place. When it was time to go to bed I would brush my teeth, but he never did the same. Then one day I decided to ask: “Don’t you brush your teeth before sleeping?” and he simply said “No, I never get cavities”. From that day on I pitied every girl who could possibly have a relationship with him. After all, if he didn’t mind not cleaning something everyone can see/smell, think of the “hidden” parts…
This is only one of some examples of disgusting things I am in contact with here in Sweden. Today’s list is about them:
-Kids eat whatever: So many times I see babies chewing on books, keys, plastic wrappings and even pieces of wood. Start paying attention and you will understand what I’m talking about. The parents really seem to live by the saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.
-The towel: Today I saw this woman showering at the gym. Since there was no hook for her to hang her towel, she simply threw it on the bathroom floor! Now think of everyone stepping around with dirty shoes and the woman cleaning her whole body with that towel soaked in dirt.
-Dust: Another non important issue for many here in their houses or apartments. Maybe some of them keep their furniture full of it for the Acari’s (those microscopic creatures who eat dead skin and live in the dust) sake.
-Yellow teeth: No it’s not gold. It’s coffee and tea excess and bad teeth brushing. It of course added to that humid and warm breath….urgh.
-Animals: They go out for a walk and when they come back it’s germs party time! Paws-sofa, paws-bed, paws-whatever, bringing every dirt from the streets straight into your home!
-I want candy: I was on the tram and this man (he indeed looked like someone who didn’t care at all about hygiene) opened a little box with candy. One of them flew straight to the floor. Thinking about food waste and the poor children of Somalia, he bent over, took it and ate it! A whole new flavor…
Take a look around and I’m sure you will spot other nice examples. That’s it for today. Stay clean!
Monday, December 1, 2008
Well, the thing is that every time I pass by Brunnsparken (a square around here) right in front of Nordstan (a mall) there is this woman sitting on the floor playing a flute. So far there is nothing wrong about it. Many amateur “artists” stand there and sing, play something or try any other talent to get some coins from you. But not this woman. I believe that much more than some coins, her real objective is to drive you nuts and stick to your brain leading you to certain and slow death somehow.
She sits there in her rags and plays the same annoying sound nonstop. There is no melody, the only thing you can hear is “Do, Re, Do, Re, Do, Re, Do, Re, Do, Re, Do, Re…”. Worst thing is that giving her a coin doesn’t make her quit!
So if you are waiting to cross the street you need to put all your efforts in concentrating into something else than the annoying sound of hell. “Do, Re, Do, Re…” and you can only think of finally getting inside the mall and freeing your ears and brain from that curse.
With further investigations, I also discovered that this evil woman has not only the flute but other instruments from the dark side of the force, namely, a banjo and a tambourine. She uses the same strategy. With the banjo all you hear is an uncoordinated “blein, blein, blein, blein, blein” and with the tambourine “tchic, tchic, tchic, tchic”.
So if not certain death, I believe she wants people to slowly become zombies, led by her pain in the ass sounds. In the end she will form an army of brainwashed humans and we will end up donating her all our money. I can already see her codes:
Do, Re= give me your money
Do, Re, Do, Re, = give me your friend’s money
Do, Re, Do, Re, Do, Re, Do, Re,= kill that man and give me his money.
And so it goes. But don’t worry. I am committed to taking her picture and posting it here so you can all be aware. See you!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Anyway, you can now check the video:
Spot me if you can!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Googling it a bit, I discovered the website http://www.godhatessweden.com/ , where the freaks show all their hate for homosexuals and especially for Sweden, that legalized homosexuality in 1944 and is the most gay friendly country in Europe.
Now I wonder what makes these crazy religious fanatics start having these thoughts about gays being a sin. After all Jesus never had a girl and lived mostly amongst men. I think he just didn’t have enough time to get out of the closet.
I seriously believe these people lack good sex. Why would you care if a Nordic distant country is gay friendly if you had a good and active sex life with your man or your woman? As someone I know used to say: “If they were getting laid, wouldn’t be having these thoughts”.
So before going out to protest against developed countries and its sexual freedom, go get some sex. Maybe after that you can come up with a great idea and found a new order like “Church of the flesh pleasure” or something.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
The song is called “Silly really” and the video script is about a nerdy guy who tries to sing karaoke in a disco, while everybody else makes fun of him. Three kinds of characters were on scene: business men, who would point at the poor nerd; drag queens, who would have fun with him and four girls, including me, who would look hot, laugh and drink. Since you all know it takes more than one take to achieve perfection, we had to drink lots of horrible tasting Champagne many times. Argh!
From the three girls with me, one was nice. The other two looked like they had diarrhea. You know, not only that serious look, but when they look so bored that their eyes seem like they were pulled down to their mouth. And they were pretty, but looked like they had smelled pooped diapers.
Well, I played my part walking in the background, drinking, laughing about nothing and so. The whole thing took seven hours, but the filming crew was still there when I left. Was a cool and boring experience at the same time. Also, it’s the kind of activity where you need to deal with lots of competition and egocentric people, fighting for who will show off more. Not really my thing.
In the end I got paid cash (the best part) and went home happy but not very sure if I would want to do it again. Well, we never know. I will make sure to post the video here once it’s ready so you can check it. See you!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
He can sing, he can dance, he is hot and Asian! Still unknown to many of you, Choi Dong-Wook or “se7en” as he is called within the entertainment industry, is becoming a huge sensation around the world. Besides being a big pop celebrity in his birth country, Korea, Se7en is famous in Japan, China, Thailand and recently the Americas.
Not even 24 years old, Se7en combines very good vocals with great beat, creating something new in the pop scene, something different from the old commercial formulas. No boy band wannabe, no usual stuff. His shows are full of amazing effects and dance performances, making the girls, biggest part of his audience, go insane! Now if you are a guy who likes some pop but thinks Se7en’s style would never suit you, give it a go. Not even the Korean lyrics will stop you from memorizing the songs and trying to sing and dance insanely to it. This is just one of the thousands of videos of him on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAE5j3aEqIU&feature=related
So, be ready everybody. He’s gonna make you “break your neck”. And it’s who? He’s S-E-V-E-N!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
The little fish has about 5 centimeters and its grey color makes it almost invisible in the water. It is a parasite that sticks its "fangs" (small hooks around its "mouth") to other fish gills, feeding on their blood. You are probably wondering why would it be dangerous for us, humans. Well, the thing is that the Candiru is interested in all sorts of blood, including yours!
As if sucking blood wasn't already enough, this fish is also attracted by urine! What can be more pleasant than peeing as soon as you enter the water? That's the attack moment. Candiru follows the pee flow and end up right into your urethra. Especially guys, since they love to go bathe naked or wearing loose shorts.
After that, the fish starts its blood consumption and according to what the victims say it is incredibly painful. If inside your penis, it will damage the blood circulation, make it swollen and the easiest way to remove it from there is surgery. If the victim takes too long to look for help, they can say goodbye to their beloved member...ouch!
This is a video of a guy who had to be operated because of a Candiru.
So watch out if you ever think of visiting the Amazon. And you guys thought piranhas were evil!