Thursday, February 26, 2009

Today's news: Girl gets fired because of Facebook

Kimberly Swan, 16, got fired after writing her job was "boring" on Facebook. She had been working for a company for only 3 weeks before getting the firing notice.

So now run an delete all those weird pictures, comments and groups you have online. Your boss is watching you!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Today's news: Katie Holmes cries in NY

By the picture, what do you think Katie Holmes was thinking about while crying?

1- "Why didn't anyone tell me I was looking like a grey penis with this outfit!?"

2- Why did Tom have to put this fuc**** GPS tracker in such an uncomfortable place?"

3- "I should have listened to mom and married Dawson instead"

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

And the Oscar goes to...

Regardless of the huge time difference between USA and Sweden, I managed to watch the Oscars 2009. The ceremony started around 3:30 am here and lasted more than three hours. Since it can be a bit boring I fast forwarded it in many occasions, for example, when Beyonce performed. Why? I just can’t stand all that screaming in her singing. What a normal singer would sing in 3 seconds takes her 12 seconds because of the uuuhhhhouou..heeeieeii after every word in the verse. Aff!

Leaving Beyonce (Annoyonce)behind, here are some of the things I realized while watching the Oscars:

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt: they came alone. I wondered what their 138 kids were doing at home.

No polemics: no hysterical thanking, no manifestation, nothing outstanding happened.

Sophia Loren: She was there and it seemed like she had come right out of a tomb. Her face is almost a female version of Michael Jackson’s.

Slumdog Millionaire: the India related movie won mostly everything. I just couldn’t get one word of what they said while thanking in English.

Wolverine: He hosted the ceremony. Charming but not funny. Who cares, he is Wolverine.

See, it was so boring that I can’t even further criticize…damn.

See you guys tomorrow.


Sunday, February 22, 2009

Today's news: Bush looks for a job

George Bush decided to go shopping yesterday. The selected store is called Elliot's hardware, known for having offered him in the beginning of February a position in one of its departments. Bush greeted the staff and said "I'm looking for a job". He bought a flashlight, batteries and a can of lube.

By the "can of lube" I think I can guess which kind of job Bush is planning on getting.
The flashlight and the batteries were just an excuse.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Today’s celebrity: Jamie Oliver

By the picture you might think this young Englishman is cute, sweet and maybe even a very good chef, with his mouth shut. Problem is when he opens it… Have you realized how he speaks with that loose mouth over the dishes? His lisp must add a special flavor to the food, throwing hungry saliva bacteria over the ingredients…yummy! “I ufe seferal faufes” says Jamie (translation: I use several sauces). I also hope they start subtitling the show.
Now I believe all of you who like to watch him cook will no more be able to do so the same way. Once you acknowledge the mouth of doom you will be forever mesmerized by its power.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Oh, make me over

Today's news: Mickey Rourke says he prefers to be on a deserted island with a gorilla than dating Courtney Love.

Now what do you think Courtney did to traumatize poor Mickey so much?

1-Sang him one of her songs a capella?
2-Showed him her "little gorilla"?
3- Showed him the "Hole"?

PS: All the gorillas interviewed by our website said they'd prefer to be on the "Lost" island than being on any normal deserted island with Mickey Rourke.